From a recent youth survey conducted by enoVate, family values are a high quality of life indicator. Quality of life represents the ideals that Chinese youth strive for, things they may not necessarily have right now. However, the topics of relationships and dating are the forefront of Chinese youth interests. We’ve pulled out three key areas centering on relationships and dating in Chinese youth society:

• The formative single life
• The building of their personal relationships
• Maintenance of these relationships and their portrayal in popular culture

Formative Single Lfe

It is a common conclusion that a young Chinese person has certain “relationship cut-off ages” that are symbolic in their lives. In a recent article on Sina, these ages are broken down in a more humorous manner. Between the ages of 25 to 27 are symbolic as a “must be dating by or married” age. If you cross the 27 year-old age barrier, the slope is slippery into the throes of bachelorism.

However, this viewpoint is typically hammered into the minds of Chinese youth by overbearing parents or societal norms. As an 80’s Generation Chinese youth states, “the 80’s generation enjoys their single lives, because they’ve grown up in a single family household…they also prefer to share their feelings with a computer rather than with their friends.” This comment may seem contradictory but in this modern age in China, feelings are shared online, friendships are found online, and individualism is expressed. This means that a single life in China is not a lonely life anymore. The following is a quote from a Chinese female netizen providing insightful commentary to this notion:

“Yes! I am single, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and do not need to worry about my significant other cheating on me, or take care of daily life errands, and can blog away at anytime I want without worrying about affecting the other person’s schedule.”

But being single is not an ideal shared by all Chinese youth. A recent phenomenon that is also about connecting friendships online is known as “Flash Play” (闪玩), coined by IWOM Company CIC as “offline events organized by netizens online.” These meet-ups can be casual in nature, ranging from travel to KTV, but can also result in limited relationships that do not offer the same long-term benefits as normal relationships.

Building of Personal Relationships

But what is a normal relationship for Chinese youth? Often, the premise of normalcy, or the way things should be is presented in popular television shows in China. One example is the TV show “i-Partment”. “i-Partment” details the lives of 7 single 80’s Generation Chinese youth all living under one roof. Their relationships and love life reflect many traditional values, but it is also noted that some of the plot lines are un-realistic and overtly idealistic. However, the show leaves off many of the youth aspects related to sex, an area, that according to conversations with Chinese girls, about half are indifferent towards before marriage.

Maintenance of these relationships and their portrayal in popular culture

The pressure to date, marry, and be happy is a strong ideal for Chinese youth. The online landscape provides an escape for many Chinese youth, however as noted it’s not always something that is permanent. In the future of relationships and dating in China, it’s hard to predict a trend, but even though popular culture and government stances will promote traditional values, it’s likely new generations will be exposed to new thoughts and ideas, transcending into sex, relationships and dating amongst Chinese youth.

“Flash play” (闪玩, quick fun/play) is described by our friends over at CIC research as “a new term for offline events organized by netizens online.”

Activities can range from KTV meet ups to a simple shopping trip, but the roots of flash play seem to lie in travel. In previous travel research we have noticed this phenemenon of seeking travel partners online but it is through social networking sites such as douban where the concept of flash play has begun.

One event of the Douban “flash play group” has received interest from over3000 people, with 1700 “flash friends” planning to take part. The group’s ethos being: “perhaps all we need is to switch cities and sip coffee..”.

In analysing the reasoning behind the burgeoning popularity of flash play and flash friends, CCTV have found that of their research sample:

43 percent said that they wanted to flee a familiar environment to seek something new with strangers in strange cities and 45.0 percent said it is easier for them to feel at ease in front of strangers than in front of acquaintances.

This concept of feeling solace in the company of strangers isn’t a revolutionary idea but now it seems that the active pursuit of this feeling could be cause for concern, even for those whom take part in ‘flash’ actvities.

“‘Flash play’ is a bit like drinking. It’s comfortable when you are drinking, but it’s still painful when you recover from the drunkenness”

What’s apparent is that although these “flash” are activities increasing in their frequency, young people still accept their limitations. While some may revel in the transient nature of a weekend trip with ‘flash friends’, this trend remains only an alternative means for people to interact.

“Flash friends” are yet to replace “real friends” but if and when they do, enoVate will let you know…

But also because of this, when the 80′s Generation find true love, they enjoy the true love. But growing up in a single child household also means that independence is perpetual; love is hard to maintain and it often makes it difficult to live with others.

So what would happen if China’s first generation of single children live together? This is the premise of the popular TV show that goes by the name of i-Partment. i-Partment is an 80′s generation comedy about love that puts 7 single 80′s Generation guys into one apartment. In the show many humorous and heart-warming story-lines occur.

My friends like the show very much and often tell me to watch it. However, I feel the show is too idealized because we can’t find these situations in our real life. The show makes the 80′s generation look too exaggerated and free, when really their intrinsic characters are conservative and serious; not a realistic contradiction. They are looking for people with similar feelings who they can date, but they also want to find someone suitable to marry.

The 80′s Generation are longing for freedom, as well as owning a traditional mind. According to conversations with my friends as well as looking at many online conversations, It is understood that about 50% girls can’t accept premarital sex. About 30% of girls are dependent on the situation, and about 20% of girls are indifferent to premarital sex. But if you ask a member of the 80′s Generation if they care their friends are having sex, they probably don’t mind. This is partially due to the opening of Chinese society, as well as the internationalization of China. Thus, their minds are not locally limited and they understand today’s issues, like sex. However their core essence is of a traditional mind.

There have been many messages about 80′s marriage put online. Chinese media focuses on the fact that an 80′s Generation marriage only lasts for 2 months. This causes people to feel that the life of an 80′s Generation person is a debauchery. Of course the 80′s Generation doesn’t want to divorce so quickly, but if they’re not fit for each other, then what can they do? This means a divorce is inevitable. In fact, this also represents that they are really serious about their lives and their responsibilities for each other.

In conclusion, it’s my opinion that the 80′s Generation mindset is a combination of a 60′s Generation family background education with 21st Century surroundings; a dangerous mix. And Chinese society needn’t worry about their love and their marriage life. The 80′s Generation have thoughts and basic principles that do not deviate from traditional society. The only thing that Chinese society should do is give us  more space to breathe and let us make our own decisions.

(This opinionated article was written by our own 80′s Generation love guru, Sunnie Qin)

Dating in college is the first thing that comes to my mind when talking about relationships and dating amongst Chinese youth. Since dating is the “required course”, most Chinese students are very passionate and willing to spend money on it. Recently, I’ve been talking with a couple of college students about their dating costs in order to understand what is important for them and how these costs influence their lives.

Scofield Tan is a 22 year-old guy studying at the University of Shanghai for Science and Technology. Here is a list of his monthly dating costs (in RMB):

1. Food 200
2. Transportation 100
3. Party 350
4. Shopping 200
5. Hotel 200

Total costs: 1050RMB

Most Chinese college students get money from their parents every. month, Scofield is no different. He receives 2000 RMB per month which is much more higher than most people in college. According to enoVate team member Sunnie Qin, her classmates receive around 500 to 800RMB per month.

Sunnie is a 21 year old female studying at Shanghai Ocean University. Let’s take a look at her list:

1. Food 150
2. Transportation 60
3. Buy snacks 50
4. Party 150
5. Cellphone bill 30
6. Shopping 400

Total costs: 840RMB

Sunnie receives 1200RMB every month from her parents which is still higher than most students from Tier 2 cities. Sunnie also mentions that in a typical Chinese relationship, guys spend more money than girls.

According to the above information, we see that generally students that date spend at least half of their living fee on dating. They mainly spend their money on food, shopping, and parties. Students from Shanghai, Beijing and other Tier One cities receive more money from their parents so of course they are the main spenders. Clearly the costs of dating bring these university students happiness, but it it not required. How to spend money on the right thing and how to make money is something they must think about in the future.

One of our main inspirations for having relationship and dating week this week in November was because of the significant date of 11/11. In China this date represents 光棍节, or “Guang Gun Jie”. According to an article found on Sina, this day also represents a way for savvy business men to introduce opportunistic bachelors to the woman of their dreams.

The article has an excellent break down of the various levels of bachelorhood in a Chinese man’s life.

The four levels are:

1. 小鸟级 (Xiao Niao Ji) – A bachelor who has yet to be touched by love’s treacherous grasp.
2. 菜鸟级 (Cai Niao Ji) -  A bachelor who is in between relationships.
3. 肉鸟级 (Rou Niao Ji) – A bachelor who has been deeply hurt by a past relationship.
4. 骨灰级 (Gu Hui Ji) – A master of relationships, women, and bachelorhood.

The article continues to list descriptions of four ways to take advantage of the Single’s Holiday:

The first way is to head to a Shenzhen based website where bachelors can participate in online games that indicate their bachelor levels according to the notorious age break-down.

• 25 – 27 years old is known as the primary drop-off age to be married.
• 28-31 years old represents those who have been busy all day to find love, so this is the mid-level drop-off age to be married.
• Ages 32-36 represent those with some strength left, but they are waiting for the perfect opportunity.
• But once you hit 36, you have entered no-man’s dating land; no one will marry you or wants to marry you. Tough luck.

The second way people are celebrating Single’s Day is through wearing T-Shirts representing their single nature. One of the t-shirts says, “一人吃饱，全家不饿”. This figuratively translates to “one person can make money for the whole family.”

Many online shops and small business are marketing specific products for this nefarious holiday. Pillows shaped as humans, bachelor cigarettes, and bachelor playing cards all make up some of the unique products to comfort people’s loneliness.

Lastly, many singles are heading to local bars to take advantage of this occasion. Many online singles sites are planning pairing parties at bars that include karaoke, games, and other activities for singles to mingle.

Though many Chinese youth are generally worrying about school or finding a job, the thought of marriage and bachelorhood is brought to the forefront on this single’s only holiday.

Pocky is a popular Japanese snack resembling thin sticks of flavored goodness. Pocky’s popularity crosses all ages and genders and they are sold in sweet and salty varieties.

Since 1999, Pocky’s parent company in Japan, Glico, has pushed forward its Pocky Day campaign, as the stick-like Pocky snacks mimic the dates 11/11. (Legend has it that they borrowed the idea from the Korean snack, Pepero, which is a similar stick snack.)

Never one to shy away from popular Korean and Japanese marketing campaigns, the China Glico company responsible for distributing Pocky in China is promoting their own version of Pocky Day in China on a specially made mini-site.

I first heard about Pocky Day a few months ago after viewing a bus advertisement proclaiming Glico’s “Love Pocky Day” campaign. The campaign is simple enough: head online to the Pocky Day mini-site and upload a “confession” video revealing your secret crush or secret sentiment to the one you love. It can be a lover, a family member, or a friend. The campaign sounds simple enough to catch on with Chinese lovers. The top video will be broadcast on national TV and prizes are awarded.

However, the ineffectiveness of the campaign is apparent with the lack of activity on the mini-site. The video upload page has about 15 videos (some in English and Japanese), and no website upload feature. Links lead to Youku or Tudou, and other Pocky videos are difficult to find on these sites.

Asking many young Chinese people if they are aware today is Pocky Day, they shake their heads no. A corporate holiday created to sell products? Chinese people are not stupid. Perhaps this campaign needs a few more years to catch on, but until then, I’ll be celebrating Pocky Day by myself surrounded by boxes of Pocky’s.

This week on the enoVate blog, we’ll be taking a quick glance into the topic of relationships and dating amongst Chinese youth. The answer to the headline may appear obvious, but we are also interested in the following:

• Online Dating
• How brands use sex and relationships to market their products
• The portrayal of sex and relationships in popular Chinese youth media
• Shopping and dating habits
• Generational differences in relationships and dating

If you have anything interesting to add to this topic this week, don’t hesitate to contact us!